It’s never too early in the week to play 4D minigolf

I didn’t sleep last night for entirely self-inflicted reasons and my brain feels like that one accursed hoover bag you refuse to empty, because there is no way of doing so that won’t turn the neighbourhood into Silent Hill. I need to avoid any complicated write-ups, or my brain will detonate similarly and paint north London grey.

Ah, a minigolf game! I think I can just about hack the concept of minigolf, on this most desperate of Mondays. It is golf but mini. Bonzai golf. Digestible! Intuitive! Why, I’ve managed to write 100 words without even looking at the Steam page. Let’s do so now. Wait a minute, this isn’t minigolf. It’s Mini Mini Golf Golf. What is Mini Mini Golf Golf? “Destabilize the present and plunge into a neon psychohistory of a bizarre entity in distress,” the Steam page explains. “This is not a game about minigolf.” It is too late to flee.

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The Monster Hunter Wilds beta is live with an early glimpse of the new camping, wound and weather systems


Stroll on down to Uncle Capcom’s garage, girls and boys, because it’s time to meddle with a cat’s voicebox, ride a combat peacock and meticulously injure a vast, blubbery teddybear. By which I mean, the Monster Hunter Wilds beta is now live on Steam through to 4th November at 2.59am GMT. That’s 2.59am sharp. If you’re hurrying along at 3am on Monday absolutely desperate to polish the aesthetics of a small enslaved catperson, you can sod off and play Dragon Age: The Veilguard instead.

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Wildly immoral tinseltown builder Hollywood Animal hits early access in January 2025


I missed my chance to write about Hollywood Animal when a certain Nic Reuben swooped in like a rival showbiz talent scout and pinched the summer Steam Fest demo from right under my nose, capitalising on the fact that I was stranded in an airport at the time. I wrote about a very rude Minesweeper “homage” instead. Hopefully that was for the best.


Anyway, it’s finally my chance for a bite at the apple, for developers Weappy Wholesome have just given their slice of throwback La La Land an early access release date: January 16th 2025. To celebrate, they’ve also published a new and fairly lengthy trailer. Grab yourself a scotch and a cigar and dig in.

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Path Of Exile 2 early access release delayed to December to ensure your POE microtransactions carry over

Path Of Exile 2’s early access release has been shoved back three weeks from 15th November to 6th December 2024, game director Jonathan Rogers has announced in a brief Youtube video. The action-RPG itself will seemingly be ready in time for the original launch date, but there’s a load of “server-side infrastructure work” that needs doing.

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